Is RUOK day OK?
Let’s just put it out there: it’s not a good look to heap crap on RUOK day. It’s nice. It was started by nice people, people who lost a beloved friend, people who wondered if they could have saved him. It’s a genuinely beautiful act from friends in terrible grief. Many of us have lost someone to suicide, and if you can’t bring them back, then maybe the next best thing is to do something meaningful to prevent another one. I get it. RUOK day's origins are genuinely beautiful, admirable, and understandable. And I really, really don’t want to say “but”. . . . . BUT… ***** RUOK day is a classic of its genre. It’s a day for people who don’t suffer to try to fix people who do. It’s a day to try to “spark conversations”. It’s a day for “champions of change”. See also: White Ribbon Day, the establishment of Beyond Blue. What it isn’t, is a day that was asked for by those of us who suffer, often threaded through our entire lives, from mental illness, trauma, and persistent distre